posted 12/02/09 12:39 PM | updated 12/02/09 12:39 PM
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Racism and Cheez Whiz

Police are investigating an assault at a Magnolia grocery store after, a police report says, an employee came into the store drunk and began causing problems.

An employee at the Magnolia QFC was called to the front of the store at about 5:00 a.m. on November 23rd after a man—who apparently works at the QFC—became "verbally abusive to one of the checkers and throwing food items around the store, " a report says.

The employee contacted the man—described in the report at a tall, muscular, heavy white man—who was found spraying the words "I quit" on the front window of the store using Cheese Whiz. The report notes that the man had "an odor of intoxicants on his breath." 

The employee confronted the man and asked him what he was doing. According to the report, the man responded "None of your Fucking business Nigger!". 

After a brief exchange, the employee tried to escort the man out of the store. The man, who was carrying a cup of beer, turned and threw the contents of the cup in the employee's face, soaking him with beer. He then challenged the employee to a fight.

The report says there was no altercation and that the man drove off. The employee went home, changed his clothes, and called police. The report does not indicate that police made an arrest.

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Too funny except for the n word
The moon is full.
Comment by enough
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
Is the police report as inaccurate as this story?
Just some points to clear things up.

1 - The police arrived not at 5AM but sometime after 7:15AM, the time which the employee in question left the store.

2 - The employee arrived to work, completely sober minus caffeine and nicotine, at approximately 10:55PM the previous night.

3 - The only non-management employee to whom the employee was verbally abusive was a checker named Dianne. If you've ever shopped at that store, you'd know she has a mouth bigger than Rush Limbaugh. Dianne started that day's shift like many others, namely by being 5 minutes late and launching into a complaint about something stupid instead of doing her job. The employee cut her off mid sentence by yelling "DIANNE, SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMNED LIFE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Customers were horrified and employees were grateful someone finally said it.

3 - At approximately 7:10, the employee grabbed a can of Kraft "Easy Cheese" (not "Cheeze Wiz" as erroneously reported) and proceeded to write the words "I QUIT" on the window above the customer service desk.

4 - While finishing the letter "T," the employee was approached by the ranking manager on duty who requested the employee stop writing. The employee by responded with "What are you going to do about it?," to which the manager informed the employee he was fired, to which the employee said, "You can't fire me. I quit. The fuck?"

5 - At this point, the employee began to exit the store while the manager continued to blather on about something or other. Disgusted, with his back turned to the manager, he threw his cup directly up into the air, which proceeded to bounce off the faux ceiling tiles, apparently dousing the manager.

6 - As the employee continued to walk towards the East exit of the store, he was shoved from behind by the manager, an action which was caught on security footage. The employee then, at the door's thresh hold, turned around and confronted the manager, pointing out the manager had shoved him on camera while the manager displayed a smug grin.

7 - Profanities and epithets ensued in the hopes the employee could goad the manager into assaulting him. Being a slimy, incompetent little weasel, the manager chose to stop his assault upon the employee at the point of shoving him while his back was turned, apparently realizing that his skills in the art of sucking upper management's phallus wouldn't save his ass if he struck someone in a violent manner.

8 - The employee did not have a problem with the manager because of the color of his skin, but because of the content of his character, or lack thereof. His use of a derogatory slur, while regrettable, was specifically used as a tool of psychological warfare and did not represent the motivation behind his behavior. Knowing the manager had previously successfully sued QFC for racial discrimination, the employee knew the manager had a chip on his shoulder about being a black man in a company run by WASPs. While the black community may well frown upon his shenanigans, he understands their plight and stands strong with them in their fight against whitey due to the fact he is very, very white and guilty.

When asked if he had any other comment, he simply responded with "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
Comment by Joyfully Unemployed
3 months ago
( --1 votes)
Incredible
Joyfully Unemployed, beautiful piece. You've upstaged the editor and should replace him effective immediately.
Comment by Stephen
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
Good piece
Hey joyfully, with writing and investigative reporting like that, you should be looking for a job at one of these so-called local news outlets. Couldn't hurt and from what I've read so far, you would be a far cry better.
Comment by Keith
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
Huh
Sounds like "Joyfully" should never have been working at a grocery store. Persecution complex much?
Comment by Jen
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
Persecution complex
Jen,

Your input is appreciated, but I regret to inform you that your pseudo-psycho babble is unfortunately completely off the mark. I might grant you the possibility of being an expert on the subject if it weren't for the fact that you made such an assertion off nothing more than this story and my previous post. No mental health professional would make such a specious diagnosis based upon such little evidence.

In my conversations with the employee in question, he displayed hostility towards the management of the store. However, his basis was one of frustration and resentment. By his descriptions, and those with whom we worked closely, his attitude towards his job was to work hard and, in doing so, make his job easier and less stressful. By all accounts, he was diligent, thoughtful and precise. He knew his job backwards and forwards and pushed himself to his competitive nature.

He found, unfortunately, that the more effort he made, the less effort everyone else would put forth. This slacking by others was not of the ordinary variety, and it was doubly annoying because, in many cases, he'd attempted to head-off problems by discussing them with his managers only to find that they paid him nothing more than lip service. In at least one case, he became aware that a manager had outright lied to his face.

I think any of us, put in his shoes, would feel the same way. While our reactions might not be as rash and brazen as his, I believe we can all sympathize, if not empathize.

What follows is his rationale for quitting: "I realized that night that, no matter how much thought and effort I exerted, I would always walk into the store and find a mess left for me to pick up. In particular, that night I discovered a manager had lied to me about a particular support request I'd made. This lie was perplexing for the fact that the alternative was simply stating that the request hadn't been fulfilled, but would be soon. In that moment, it dawned on me that this system would not change and that my natural instinct to work hard and excel would be taken advantage of and taken for granted. I decided then and there that I would be damned if I would make my managers look good one more time, especially during the busiest week of the year when I needed their help the most. I would rather be homeless than be their bitch."

As you can see, if he suffers from any complex, it's one of superiority, not persecution. While his story is obviously subjective, I don't think there's anyone who's ever worked for a living who hasn't experienced a similar situation to some degree. That alone leads me to believe that, while he may be embellishing and using hyperbole, it's likely he's mostly correct in his take.

If you still disagree, well, you're probably part of the problem and more like his previous managers than him. It would take someone as obtuse as the stereotypical middle-management type to see what you saw and say what you said.
Comment by Joyfully Unemployed
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
ouch
i'd say you just had your ass handed to you, jen.
Comment by jefe
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
right...
"In my conversations with the employee in question"

You mean yourself, because you're the employee. It's a fun story, but please stop pretending to be a third party in this...
Comment by pants
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
pants is dead on
joyfully unemployed is definitely the employee. i must say it is a pretty good laugh though. and who is joyfully unemployed? i know lazy people. i will definitely check back to read all the funny comments left by loser who loves being unemployed.
Comment by lolwow
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
For pants and lolwow
I got a new gig. Here's a pic of me hard at work.

http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/4506/newjob.jpg
Comment by Recently Employed
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT...
Joyfully, you are obviously the scum that was fired. So now you will not qualify for any unemployment benefits, on top of being a whiny, crybaby. Your life sounds AWESOME!

You really showed them!
Comment by AlrightyThen
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
AlrightyThen
"So now you will not qualify for any unemployment benefits"

You're obviously unfamiliar with how unemployment benefits are determined. Quitting a job is usually grounds for denial, but certain circumstances allow for a valid claim. Specifically, voluntary separation is not mutually exclusive from benefit reception when that separation occurs due to a hostile work environment which the employee made good faith efforts to rectify. Additionally, when an employee has a disability the employer is fully aware of and fails to reasonably accommodate that disability, benefits may also be claimed. This includes psychological conditions.

Tell me Mr. Jim Carrey-wannabe, for what mega-corporation do you bend over and lube yourself up? I only ask because you strike me as the type with such limited testicular fortitude that you couldn't even fathom doing something so brazen, let alone following through with it. What's it like to lead a life of a good little sheep who does what he's told simply because he fears making those decisions for himself? Does it keep you awake at night, or are you completely oblivious to it? How many dreams did you forego in the name of security and comfort?

You're right about one thing. My life previously was not awesome. I stayed at a job that drove me crazy because the pay was good. I worked shitty hours and slept during the day and did nothing of real substance. I was on a path towards a life of wasted potential and missed opportunities. I was never going to be happy working at QFC. I am Jack's wasted life [so far].

Putting myself in the unenviable position I did was what I needed to do in order to take the road less traveled. I had to shake up my life in order to really start living it. It's just how I am.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I'd rather be who I am than anything approaching what you seem to believe in. People like me change the world. People like you just leave a wake of trash.

tl;dr: Eat a bag of Dick's
Comment by Recently Employed
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
You keep telling yourself that....
You know nothing about me except for the fact that I find you utterly churlish, moronic and petty. You threw a temper tantrum for Christ's sake. You could've really made a change so that others didn't have to go through what you went through, but nooooooo....you are a narcissist and a jackass. You just had to get the attention.

You tell yourself that anyone that disagrees with you has it worse than you. Keep telling yourself that if it means you sleep better for at least an hour, and you find solace for at least a minute from the thoughts and realizations that you are a bitch.

LOL

And you're a racist fuck too? *snicker* You're a real winner! I mean, in the race of life, you're taking first place over all of us, right?

I hope that God blesses you regardless. Sorry that you had a shitty time at QFC. Those people sound like a bunch of wankers (if you're telling the truth). You, however, are only in control of yourself, and you went out like a punk.
Comment by AlrightyThen
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
Oh and by the way....
I'm a woman...

And what flavor is that bag of dicks? I only like strawberry, grape and orange.

Kthnksbai
Comment by AlrightyThen
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
Perhaps
I couldn't have made any changes. There's a possibility I could've gotten one manager fired, but that's a drop in the bucket. His mentality is par for the course at QFC and goes all the way to the top of the chain. Exactly how would I go about convincing a retarded CEO that she's retarded? They've made it crystal clear they don't give a rat's ass about employee morale. Every single manager passes the buck all the way down, ripping into their subordinates until it reaches people at my previous level (night crew). Everything becomes the fault of those who work the hardest.

I didn't do what I did to get attention, at least not here. I had no idea this would be a popular story when I did it. I absolutely intended my actions to be a big, attention-getting middle finger to my management team, but not for the sake of getting attention.

Racist? I already explained that in the very first post. It's like if you and I were face to face and I really wanted to piss you off and I decided to call you a cunt. Would that make me a misogynist simply for using that word? Of course not. Its use would be based in the likelihood of causing great offense. That was the point of the slur. I had a helluva lot more reasons to dislike the guy than the color of his skin.

You are right that I'm narcissistic to a degree, and am most definitely a jackass. You also only know that side of me. I'm like mold. I grow on you. ;)
Comment by Recently Employed
3 months ago
( 0 votes)
formerQFC person and alrightyThen....please:
Could you two please stop flirting. It made me throw up in my mouth.


And the boy is blind to his tiny scrap o' racism, but he's most certainly got some hate in there.

And Capt Obvious: we all know about bad jobs and low pay and corporate BS. Please stop acting like you just discovered wage slavery, Chrissy Columbus.
Comment by map
2 months ago
( 0 votes)
HAH
watching people argue on the internet never ceases to amuse.
Comment by steeeeeeeve
1 month ago
( 0 votes)
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